Sunday, July 24, 2022

how did you know?

Often people have asked me how did you know you were sick?  What prompted you to go to the doctor?

This is such a great story because I didn't know.  

I only knew something was not right, but we never really think: "Oh my God, I have cancer!"

That is always worse case scenario.


A few things had happened before I dragged my butt into my gyno for an overdue check up.  I had told myself, I'll get that pap and will convince her to get me a blood work up.

Accept for the fact that it sounded crazy trying to explain to her why I wanted that blood work in the first place.  

This is how it all began:

I had a rash on my right arm roughly 18 mos ago. Right around the time we were quarantined for Covid.  Yes.  A rash!  One that would not clear up.  The more it itched, the more I scratched, the more it would not simply go away.  

Little ichy red bumps on my arms, it soon appeared on my left arm and eventually it was my feet and legs. An itching attack was so bad at night, the areas became infected and my feet swelled.  I was a damn near mess.  

In the mist of itchy arms (before my legs and feet jumped on board)  I had a nagging cough.  I wholeheartedly believed it was a post covid thing, but really I didn't even know if I ever had Covid.  

The two issues isolated appeared to be two very different problems.

1. Rash breakout (about 18mos) 
2. On going, uncontrollable cough. (12 mos)

I was taking Claritin D to make myself feel better for about a year solid.  

Something was wrong.  I know it, but had no idea what to do.  

Of course during covid high times, it was impossible to get in with a primary care physician and urgent care didn't think anything was really wrong.  The cough was not in my chest.  I was told it was all upper sinus and urgent care prescribed me a nasal spray and something similar to Clartin, but a stronger.

I went on with my life thinking I'll be fine

Around October 2021 I had routine breast exam. The results were fine. 

Although, I believed all was good, around the same time or soon after, I noticed each time I drank anything alcoholic the upper part of my right breast hurt a bit.  Not terribly bad, just enough that I started paying attention.  This is when I started wondering if something was missed in my mammogram.  

1. RASH
2. NAGGING COUGH
3. CHEST PAIN (when I drank alcohol 🍸- Champagne being the exception) 

What is wrong with me?  Something was very wrong.  

The rash moved to my legs around December 2021.  The pain in my upper chest area progressively got worse and I could feel a lump or mass beginning to form. I was concerned, but I didn't know what to do.   

I googled a ton of things and maybe at one point I thought, what if I had cancer, but I instantly flushed those thoughts away.  

I made excuses:  
-I'm too young. 
-I'm healthy.  
-I have a really good immune system.  
-I do not get sick. 

The rash had become a huge issue in my life.  I was uncomfortable, it looked horrible, and nothing I could find online aligned with what I was experiencing.  Nothing was giving me relief.  

It was so bad I refused to get pedicures.  Imagine no pedis? I bought a $10 nail polish from Publix and painted my own toes, because my legs were too gross to show anyone.  


By January 2022 I hit my gynecologist up for that blood work. I was getting desperate, but I was going to find out what was wrong and I was going to push for results.  

Stay tuned......

For the results that were nearly impossible to get.  

FREED

My last treatment was January 31st.  It was anticlimactic.  I felt it should have been more of a relief. The weight of my diagnosis was so h...